10 Salvador Commandments

1 Don’t get stuck in Pelourinho
Pelourinho can be seen in two days and two nights. After that, devote your time to discovering the rest of the city and nearby towns.

2 Don’t walk around with jewelry
Ladies and gentlemen! This is not your turf, so no matter how much clout you have at home, it is not worth shit here. Necklaces, rings, expensive watches, bracelets etc. are not to be worn except when you are off to a swanky event or club. Otherwise, keep it down low.

3 Don’t argue with cops
The cops here are instructed to take action as opposed to discuss who is right. It doesn’t matter who is right, who stole what from whom, or if you didn’t know she was under 18. If they want to arrest you for anything, let them, then call your consulate. If they want to fine you for something you did, usually for a driving offence, (another reason to not drive), then it is up to your slickness to implore them out of giving you a ticket.

4 Get change for a 50
The surest way to end up in hell is to walk around with a R$50 note thinking the beer guy, the bus or taxi will have change. Whenever at a restaurant, shop or bar, pay with the R$50. 5 R$10 bills are worth more than a R$50.

5 Do get a Tourist guide for cultural tours
The tourist guide wants to enchant you with what they know about the city. The taxi driver wants to drive from A to B back to A and collect. Go with the guide even if costs twice the amount.

6 Don’t stay far away because it is cheaper
Okay, you have a Brazilian connection you met back home or on the Internet. He is the one who begged you to come and you did. After arriving , you realize he lives in bumble fuck. What to do? Stay at his place and please him rather than enjoy the practicality of staying in Ipanema, as this Guide suggests? Or should you tell him that you want to explore Salvador by yourself during the day (while he works or goes to school) and that you two can hook up at night? Go for the second option. You will waste more time on cab traveling to and from his place.

7 Don’t try to drive
Don’t rent a car and try to figure out Brazilian road signs. Ok, believe this: not even locals know how to get around this maze-like city. So unless you’ve got a very good excuse, don’t try to drive around. One wrong turn and you can end up in the slums, being fined by the cops, or stuck in rush hour traffic. Even if your trip is all-expenses-paid, stick to taxis.

8 Don’t try the peppers
Your stomach is not used to Brazilian peppers. Even if you can handle them, your intestines are bound to react in an explosive way.

9 Don’t skimpt out
Hey! As soon as you arrive in Brazil you become 3 times as rich as back in the 1st World. Instead going on the cheap, why not live large at the nicer restaurants, tours, hotels and bars?

10 Don’t engage in conversation with the beggars
When the street kid comes begging, just ignore them for a while then give them the no sign. If you engage in conversation (negotiation) with them, they can always start crying and you lose. The city also loses as you’ll be cultivating an unwated activity.